I'm not sure why but I evidently have this tattooed on my forehead, the SUCKA part that is. However, it's only visible to people who want something from me.
Last night I made the mistake of going to the ABC Store in the hood. There was a man standing outside the door asking for money. I thought I was being crafty by blocking his access to me through an unsuspecting big guy leaving the store.
I get in the store and start feeling guilty. Here I am buying booze and this poor man is probably homeless and some pocket change might make a big difference in his day. Shame on me, shame on me! I decided I would scoop up all the change in my purse and give it to him. That made me feel better, like I was doing the right thing. After all, he is just like me in all the important ways...He is also a child of God and probably the only thing that separates us is a few mistakes in life.
On my way to the counter, I see said man AHEAD of me buying a mini bottle of something and paying for it with quarters and dimes and nickels. After I check out and exit the store there he is. "Miss, I am a homeless individual and sure could use your change." What I wanted to say..."Hell Frigin NO! I already pay for your sorry ass welfare! Go get a job and pay taxes and become a productive member of this society and then maybe we'll talk. You can start by checking in at The Samaritan Inn or The Rescue Mission where they will give you some food and a clean bed." Of course I took the weenie way out. "Sorry I don't have any." I added an apologetic smile and shoulder shrug to accentuate this. Go ahead and call me a wus. I deserve it.
I couldn't help but contrast this with my recent experience in Atlanta.
On my first night there I didn't have a client dinner (Hooray!) and I wanted a sandwich or something light to eat. I find out where the closest deli is located and head out of the hotel. I'm maybe 50 feet from the door when this man approaches me. He wants to walk me to the deli because he doesn't want anybody to mess with me (OK, what is HE doing?) and to make sure I don't get lost (it's a block and 1/2 away!). His name is Derrick and he's my new friend.
Derrick lives at the homeless shelter where he was headed for supper (doesn't want me to buy him anything to eat) and he has just gotten a job at the Georgia World Congress Center (he pronounces it Jaw-ja Werl Con-ress Cenna). He waits while I get my food, although I have already "tipped" him, because he doesn't think I need to walk back by myself. Derrick really IS my friend. At least he offered a service, albeit an unnecessary one, for his money. You have to admire that.
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3 comments:
i always feel guilty too when i don't give but i figure i give in other ways. still doesn't stop you from feeling bad when you're in the moment.
nice, although a little creepy, about derrik. i wonder if he was the guy we saw when we were there, sitting on the corner, no socks or shoes.
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No. Derrik wasn't creepy at all. He was really nice - getting back on the right track and all.
This post brought back memories from college. I had to walk back across campus at night, no one really in sight. Out of the blue, a guy stops me and says it was his duty to escort me. He was pledging the Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity and they are required to be gentlemen. I said "okay". We walked and chatted up to my dorm then he said good-bye. I never saw him again.
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